


In Case You Don’t Live Forever

by GH_123



Category: Hollyoaks
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gun Violence, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-05-31 10:52:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19424506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GH_123/pseuds/GH_123
Summary: What happens when Grace shoots Harry.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have had this saved since the episode aired but have never quite managed to get it to the stage that I’m happy with. After a weekend of train journeys and reading a few prompts that inspired me. 
> 
> Here it is.
> 
> Enjoy.

Harry couldn’t remember a time in his life when he had physically seen a gun. He had been through some tough times and indulged in some pretty dark stuff but his eyes landing upon the object so calmly clasped in Grace’s hand was a first. He had never seen one before, let alone had one pointed directly at him. 

Despite his whole body shaking, he was trying his hardest to stay calm. She already thought he was guilty and if he was an absolute mess, like he was on the inside, he knew it would only confirm her suspicions. He was confident she wouldn’t do this, she couldn’t. 

Grace moved herself a little closer to him, subsequently the gun inching closer. It was scary how steady her hands were, he knew she had done this before; murdered someone in cold blood, that thought alone sent shivers down his spine.

“Grace, please” he knew he sounded pathetic, it was probably exactly what she wanted to hear but this was his life at stake, it certain wasn’t something to be cocky about. “I had nothing to do with your accident” he pleaded with her, desperate to make her understand. 

“You’re lying” she yelled, the gun now shaking in her hands simply because of the anger flowing through her body. 

“I’m not, I promise” he held up his hands in defence, completely aware of the tears filling his eyes. “I wasn’t driving the car” he tried to tell her again, his mind racing as the look in her eyes changed. The calmness had vanished and although she remained steady, within a flash her eyes had a sheer glint of determination, evil almost and with a sense of enjoyment. Was she actually taking pleasure in what she was doing? 

Maybe she would actually go through with it.

***

“Dad!” Romeo yelled as he flung open the front door bursting into the kitchen and making his father, who had been sat going over Harry’s case for what felt like the 50th time, jump out of his skin. “Dad, you need to follow me, you need to come quickly” Romeo rushed breathlessly, he was already pulling James up from one of the bar stools and dragging him to the front door.

“Romeo, what going on?” he asked a little hesitant, his sons outburst had completely taken him by surprise and he didn’t appreciated being dragged away from what was a very important piece of work. “Romeo, for god sake, what’s happened?” James shouted as he pulled himself free from his sons tight grip.

“It’s Harry, he’s in trouble” he instantly had James’ attention. He didn’t need to elaborate, the files were completely discarded and the thought of Harry’s case was shoved within seconds to the back of his mind, all that mattered was Harry’s well being. 

Romeo had seen the event unfold from a distance, for a moment he was completely frozen to the spot, unsure of what to do, unsure how to handle the situation he found himself in. He knew that rushing over to help Harry could make the situation worse, he knew what Grace was like and that she was a lady you wouldn’t want to mess with. He also knew that if the worst happened James would need to be there, Harry would want him to be there. Before he really knew what he was doing he found himself running back home.

“Grace was...she was...she is holding a gun to him. I didn’t know what to do” Romeo panted as he ran in the direction of the garage, James hot on his heels. He hadn’t really been listening to Romeos rambling, he had just clung on to the one word that had lodged itself in his brain.

**_Gun._**

Grace Black had a gun and that was never a good sign. 

“A gun?” James blurred out, he knew that she blamed Harry for the accident, if he was being honest there had been moments when he had doubted his innocence but he had never entertained the idea of Grace acting upon her feelings, especially in such a horrific way. 

Romeo skidded to a halt in The Dog car park, the gravel crunching beneath his feet. They were stood just a few feet away from where Grace had her gun held up to Harry. James’ heart sank and the thought of losing him suddenly became very real and unbearable. James had lost him before, lost him to Ste and his family, pushed him away to the point where he had completely left the village, but losing him for good, losing him forever and never getting the chance to redeem himself, knowing that whatever it was they had had was all it was ever going to be, that was a different sense of loss that James never thought he would have to experience. 

“Harry!” he cried out, as he raced towards him, desperate to let him know that he was here, that things were going to be okay. 

It was as if time stood still, as if his life had been put on to play in slow motion, as James began running towards Harry, towards the only boy he had ever truly loved, she pulled the trigger. The noise was deafening, earth shattering, he felt the rumble deep inside of him.

Harry stumbled a few steps backwards before colliding with the metal of the garage, the old building shaking as Harry fell back against it. He felt his body start to slowly sink to the ground, his legs too weak to hold his weight, shaking violently beneath him. James watched in horror as Harry’s body crumpled to the ground, collapsing to the floor with no control of his limbs, like someone had cut the strings of a puppet. 

“Oh my god! Harry” James was at his side within seconds, sinking to his knees, his heart thumping in his chest as the tears pooled in his eyes. Harry’s hand was resting on his side, where the wound had been inflicted just seconds ago. She had shot him in the lower left side of his stomach. “Call an ambulance” James yelled to no-one in particular.

“James” Harry croaked, his voice strained and weak, his skin was growing paler by the second, almost as if the life was being drained from him. In spite of that, it comforted Harry to know that James was here, that he wasn’t alone. He scrambled for James hand to hold, removing it from his wound.

“It’s okay, I’m here, I’m here. You’re going to be okay” James told him softly, tears streaming down his cheeks. He had no idea how he was managing to stay so calm, with Harry’s hand now in his and away from the wound, he could clearly see the extent of the damage. There was blood, so much of it pouring from his body and soaking through his shirt. 

“Dad, they’re on their way” Romeo told him gently as he approached, his eyes going wide with worry as they landed on Harry for the first time. 

“Harry, did you hear that. The ambulance is on its way. You’re going to be just fine, okay” James could see he was growing weak, he was losing so much blood. “Stay with me. Keep squeezing my hand” James urged, he was desperate for Harry to show him any sign of life. 

“I...” Harry began, although James could see the simple task of trying to get his words out, trying to talk was causing him pain.

“Ssshh, don’t worry, you don’t need to speak” James reached out to cup Harry’s face, he need to feel his skin beneath his for what could be the very last time. 

“Don’t move him” Romeo interjected quickly. “You don’t know if that’s going to cause anymore damage.”

“He’s bleeding to death Romeo, what more damage could be done” James shot back at his son. 

“We need to stop the bleeding” Romeo told him efficiently, completely ignoring his dads cutting comment. Within seconds, Romeo had whipped off his shirt and handed it to his father. “Use that, press hard into the wound” Romeo instructed. 

It was little moments like this, that in the face of tragedy, there was something positive, a tiny glimmer of hope shone through in the shape of his son. Romeo’s whole demeanour, despite his straight forward approach was incredibly calming, James knew all of the information his son was relaying but without his help he was unsure his brain would be able to process what to do. 

“Harry, I’m going to have to let go of your hand okay, but I’m still here. Hold on to my arm, keep squeezing me” James explained, he needed to know Harry was still conscious. He placed Romeos shirt onto the wound, the blood still gushing gracefully from him. James’ had always thought himself to be slightly squeamish but now he was faced with bloody wound and soaked shirt, he was surprised by the strength of his stomach. Harry’s grip on his arm was weaker, weaker than the grip he had previously had on his hand. He was slipping away, James could feel it.

“I need you to know” Harry started his voice quiet but this time round he was desperate for James not to interrupt him, he could feel himself growing tired, he couldn’t stay awake much longer. A pained expression flashed across his face as he took in another shaky breath, potentially his last. “I didn’t do it. Grace. I didn’t...” his voice trailed out, a incoherent mumble, a whisper and then nothing. Silence.

“Harry” James cried his voice panicked and urgent as he watched Harry’s eyes gently close. He looked peaceful, just how James rolled over to find him most mornings, contently cuddled up to him. “Harry come on, stay with me, open your eyes, please. Harry” his vision was blurred as the tears relentlessly fell from his eyes.

“Dad, they’re here” Romeo gently placed his hands on his father’s shoulders, as the ambulance pulled up along side him.

***

As Harry’s eyes closed, he was distinctly aware of hearing James, pleading with him to stay with him. He wanted to, more than ever, he was desperate to talk to him, to tell him how sorry he was for all the recent stress he had caused, to tell him that regardless of everything, he loved him more than anything. 

He wasn’t strong enough, he couldn’t keep himself awake. As his eyes shut, his life suddenly flashed before him. It had been a life filled with ups and downs, particularly when his love life was concerned. 

There had been Ste. The guy he had fallen in love with when he was just seventeen, just a teenager that didn’t know what the world of love was all about. He knew now that what he had felt with Ste wasn’t love, it took him a long time and a wedding to make him realise but Ste had never been the one for him. 

It was a strange one really, it was from the dark places that he found himself in with Ste that had essentially led him to James. The gorgeous lawyer, that had been so hard yet so easy to love. Harry had had to work hard to break down his walls and get to the heart that he now knew so well and loved so much.

He ached for the life they could have had together. The life and love that James deserved more than anyone he had ever met. They could have been happy, they would have been happy. They had never really been given a chance, just a few moments of bliss that they had longed for seemed unachievable. 

Ste and the wedding. Romeo (who had now become their biggest support). Juliet. Marnie. Grace. Sadie. The baby, his unborn child. The child that he may never actually get the chance to meet.

***

“You need to come and sit down” Romeo told his father as he patted the seat next to him.

“I don’t want to sit down” James snapped.

Since arriving at the hospital all James had done was pace the corridors, back and forth outside of Harry’s room. 

“They’ve been in there for ages”. He was longing for some news, he just needed to know what was going on, even if it was the news that he knew would break his heart, he just needed to know. 

“Pacing back and forth isn’t going to help” Romeo rose from his seat and approached James, placing his hands on his shoulders, forcing him to stop and stay still. James couldn’t bring himself to look at him, he bit his lip and took in a deep breath. He could feel the tears stinging his eyes yet again. 

“Romeo, what if...” his voice wavered as he contemplated the worst. 

“Don’t. Don’t think like that” the grip Romeo had on James’ shoulders got tighter. 

“I never told him how much I love him” the tears were falling down his cheeks. “There’s so many things I want to say.” 

“Harry, knows how much you love him” Romeo reassured him. 

“The last thing he said to me was that he didn’t hit Grace...” the fact he had made his doubt so evident and obvious, that in his potential last moments he still felt the need to defend himself completely broke James more than Harry would ever know. 

“Well when you get the chance, you tell him all those things you wanted to say, yeah.” Romeo encouraged. “No holding back.” Just at that moment, the doors to Harry’s room opened and a doctor emerged.

“What’s going on? Is he okay?” James asked quickly, the door to Harry’s room had barely closed behind her.

“Harry is stable but critical. He’s suffered a severe gun shot wound. We need to run a few more tests to assess any damage” she explained glancing down at her clipboard, scanning over her notes.

“Can I see him?” 

The nurse didn’t respond verbally, instead she gave James a small smile and pushed open the door to his room. Harry was just lying there, it was surprising how calm and relaxed he looked given what he had just been through. He was hooked up to various machines all beeping away, James had no idea what they were all for. 

“He’s unconscious at the moment but he might still be able to hear you. It’s encouraged that you talk to him” she explained as James took a seat at his bedside. “If you need anything just shout” she gave him a small smile before departing.

James took a deep breath and reached out for Harry’s hand. It was only at this moment that James noticed the blood stains on his very own hands, the thought of washing it away hadn’t even occurred to him. 

“Apparently you might be able to hear me, so here goes” he was already sounding sceptical. “I just need you to know that if this is it, if you don’t wake up” he felt new hot tear prick his eyes at just the thought. “I love you more than you’ll ever know and I’m so sorry I doubted you or ever questioned...” he took another deep breath and composed himself. 

He wasn’t here to talk about Grace, the woman who was responsible for his current predicament, who disappeared as soon as she had carried out the crime. He was here to tell him how he truly felt whether he could hear him or not, James needed to say it all out loud. 

“I know I don’t make it easy to love me sometimes, I push you away and act on impulse but everything I am now is because of you. I never thought I’d have this life, have a proper family but you’re a huge part of making that happen, you’re a huge part of that family, which is why you need to be strong and pull through this” he quickly wiped at his eyes, the tears falling straight off of his face. “Because in all honestly, I really don’t think I can live without you.”

James let his words hang there, he wasn’t expecting a response. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but as he sat and silently cried, he felt the soft, gentle touch of Harry squeezing his hand.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say a huge thank you for all the lovely, lovely feedback I received on chapter one. It was never my intention to make this any longer but because of all the lovely comments, I decided to do one last chapter.
> 
> I really hope you enjoy it and again, thank you so much! It means the world.

James was starting to wonder whether he had dreamt it, whether the gentle squeeze of his hand had just been a figment of his imagination. A touch he longed for so much, he had almost forced his brain to feel it. Harry remained so peaceful, so still, the machines remained quiet, he couldn’t have possibly moved, his body showed no trace of the action James had just felt. 

“Harry” he tried again, his voice holding the tiniest hint of hope. “Harry, can you hear me?” he asked. “I’m right here, just squeeze my hand again if you can hear me” he pleaded with him, softly urging him to let him know he was okay.

Nothing.

“Come on Harry please” he was desperate to prove that what he felt was real. “I just need to know you’re okay” his lip was trembling and he was desperately trying to keep the tears at bay. “I really need you to be okay. We still have much to do together, so much of the world left to see, this can’t be it. I need you” he allowed the tears to trickle down his face, using the hand that wasn’t clutching on to Harry’s, desperate to feel movement, to wipe his tears away from his cheeks.

Here he was James Nightingale, manipulative and cold hearted, begging for someone to come back to him. He was never a man who begs, but this time it was different so, so different. He wasn’t begging for a second chance at a relationship, a second chance to undo the hurt he had caused others, he was begging for a life. A life, he held so whole in his heart, a life, a young gorgeous man that had totally changed the way in which he saw the world and perceived himself. A life that came with hope and happiness, a life that he wasn’t ready to let go of. 

The creaking of the door opening broke the silence and James’ thoughts. 

“Dad” a voice whispered, James’ eyes flicked up to see Romeo standing there. In that moment all James wanted to do was protect him, protect him from what he had seen just hours ago. He was just seventeen, he knew he had been through a lot in his life and been exposed to things that no-one should see, but to witness a shooting, to watch Harry lying in James arms, slowly fading away, bit by bit. James wished he could erase those memories from Romeo’s head. “I was going to get a coffee, do you want one?” he asked. He hadn’t completely entered the room, hovering in the gap he had created from when the door opened.

“Yeah please” James nodded gratefully. “Something strong” he added. 

“Sure.”

Romeo flashed him a small smile before gently closing the door on him and Harry. As well as feeling the need to protect Romeo, he also felt a huge sense of pride, he would have well and truly crumbled today without him. He had been the one that alerted him to the altercation with Grace, the one who had kept him calm once the unthinkable happened, who had called the emergency services and treated Harry’s wound as best he could. The one that was still here now, offering him coffee and checking he was okay. He felt so proud to call him his son. 

“That’s another reason why you have to stay. I don’t know how to be a dad without you there to help me. Romeo and I would never been where we are now if it wasn’t for you” James was talking to Harry as if he was wide awake, he was a man who was often wary about letting people in, never one to normally discuss his feelings and yet here he was laying it all out on the table for Harry. “I can’t do any of this without you” the door creaked open and in walked Romeo with their coffees, he placed James’ down next to Harry’s bedside.

“How is he?” Romeo asked. “Sorry, that was a stupid question” he backtracked, he knew that Harry wasn’t okay. He could clearly see that, as his eyes scanned over his body, his eyes quickly darting to the machines that Harry was hooked up to.

“Nothings changed” James answered. “I...um...” he cleared his throat. “I thought I felt him squeeze my hand earlier. I thought he was waking up” James voice faltered as he realised what he felt couldn’t be real. Harry was still very much unconscious. 

“He will wake up you know” Romeo told him as he sunk down in the chair at the other side of Harry’s bed. He was trying to inject some positivity into the room. He had recently lost a loved one, someone who he thought he would spend the rest of his life with, someone who he never had the chance to say goodbye too. Sure they had been young and people were quick to judge, _how could they be in love, they were too young to know what love is._ But, when it was all said and done, he had absolutely loved Lily, loved her with all his heart, in the same way that James loved Harry and Harry loved James.

“You don’t have to stay you know” James told him, it seemed Romeo was making himself comfortable. “It’s getting late” the hours had ticked by without James’ even realising, he thought in a situation like this the hours would drag, feeling like years. However, it only seemed two minutes ago since James was stood in his kitchen this morning, bickering with Harry over instant coffee. He would have a million more of those arguments every single morning with him if it meant he was okay. 

“So?” Romeo responded with a shrug. “If I go, who’s going to look after you?” despite his teenage attitude, at times he was incredibly mature and caring. 

“I don’t need looking after” James was fine or so that’s what he told himself, but Romeo could already see the tiredness in his eyes, the invisible weight that seemed to laying heavy on his shoulders. He saw through James’ bravado because, despite only being in each other lives for a year, they were incredibly similar. Romeo recognised what James was doing because he often did exactly the same thing. 

“Okay. Well I’m not going to leave you on your own.” There wasn’t a lot Romeo could do to make this situation okay, but he was going to sit it out with him. Just like James wasn’t going to leave Harry, he wasn’t going to leave his dad. 

“Romeo. I don’t...”

“I’m not leaving. End of discussion.” Romeo sat back in his chair and watched as James sighed. He wasn’t going to win this argument and tonight he wasn’t even going to try. James’ attention was back on Harry, his eyes fixed on his gorgeous face, watching his features hoping for any sign of movement. It hadn’t gone unnoticed to Romeo that James hadn’t once loosened his grip on Harry’s hand. 

“Where are the doctors? Why aren’t they doing anything” James grumbled after a few moments of silence between the pair. “He’s just lying there. Why aren’t they trying to wake him up” he didn’t expect Romeo to have the answers, he was just there, someone for him to vent to.

“I guess interfering might make things worse” he shrugged, unsure of what James wanted him to say. “When mum was in here, they always used to let her come around herself” Romeo explained. He never really opened up about the things he had been through as a child, he was always very closed off about the matter, being here brought it all back.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that.” James felt guilty whenever Romeo hinted at his childhood, there was nothing he could have done, he had no idea he existed but it still hurt him to know the things his son had gone through. 

“It’s okay. It was just life” he shrugged. He really hadn’t known any different. It was ironic how James had just spoken to Harry about how much he helped him to become a good father, even unconscious Harry was still able to facilitate the conversation. Romeo would have never spoken about his childhood in any other circumstance. 

***

It was just approaching three in the morning, the sky was dark and the room was dim. Romeo lay slumped asleep in the chair opposite James, he had been out of it for quite some time now. James’ eyes were hurting as he desperately tried to avoid the sleep that was clouding them, he had to be awake in case Harry woke up. He couldn’t bare the thought of him waking up to nothing.

Every so often James’ eyes would close for a few minutes, momentarily giving in but never letting it consume him. Whenever his eyes were closed his mind drifted to Harry. It pained him so much to think about a life without him, he had never felt heart ache like it. 

He started to wonder how his life could have been if he’d never met Harry. Never knew him. Despite the pain, he was feeling, he would go through it over and over again just to be able to say he had been blessed to have Harry in his life. If he had never met Harry, he would have no idea what it felt like to truly love someone and for them to truly, genuinely love you back. If he had never held him in his arms he would never have had a clue about how perfect his life could be, if he had never kissed him, he would never know what it felt like to be complete to have that final missing jigsaw piece firmly in place. No matter what happens he felt lucky to say that he had been able to experience all of those things with someone like Harry.

James was suddenly startled awake, his eyes pinging open as he heard the sound of shuffling, he was half expecting it to be Romeo, moving around in his seat trying to get comfortable but as his eyes glanced down to Harry’s body, he saw it was him. James’ breath caught in his throat as Harry began to stir, the hand that James had been holding for hours began to move. This was real now. He was waking up.

“Romeo” James called. “Romeo” the young boy groaned and pushed himself up in the chair, his body aching from spending hours slumped. “Go and get a doctor. He’s waking up” James told him trying to hold back his excitement and relief. 

Harry’s head began to gently move and before James knew it, his eye began to open, his gorgeous blue eyes finally meeting James’. The eyes James thought he’d never see again. 

“You’re here” Harry mumbled, his voice quiet as a small smile crept upon his face. He was so glad he was here, he longed for James to be the first face he saw. 

“Hi” James smiled, tears filling his eyes, as he squeezed the hand he was holding, he used his free hand to gently trace the outline of Harry’s face, he never wanted to forget what Harry’s face felt like, the impeccable structure and softness of his features. He wanted to drink it all in. “Of course I’m here, there’s no where else I want to be” James told him as he gently brushed circles over his skin.

Harry began to move again, hissing in pain as he tried to push himself up, the wound obviously causing him agony. He squeezed James’ hand tightly, James was unsure whether it was a comforting gesture or a squeeze of pain. 

“Hey, it’s okay, take it easy, okay” James urged him gently, as Harry relaxed back against the bed, allowing the fabric to cushion him.

“Come here” Harry muttered, raising his arm and looping it around James’ neck, pulling him down so that his lips connected with his. The kiss was brief but held so much meaning, it took James all the willpower he possessed to not push the kiss further. Harry was still very much recovering, he had to be gentle. Reluctantly, James pulled away from the kiss, his eyes meeting Harry’s yet again, as he reached up to cup his face. “I love you” Harry beamed.

“I love you too” James lowered his head again to peck Harry’s lips. “More than you’ll ever know” he hadn’t realised until now how much he had longed for this moment. He had almost prepared himself for it never to happen, he had began to contemplate an impossible life without Harry.

“Hey, stop this” Harry uttered gently, reaching up and wiping away a tear that was trickling down James’ cheek. 

“Sorry” James sniffed, he too wiping at his eyes quickly. “I just really thought I’d lost you” he admitted. 

Harry smiled. “Did you really think you’d get rid of me that easily.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.
> 
> I hope this was a similar ending to what you all wanted. x

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading.  
> As always comments/feedback. Much appreciated.


End file.
